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09/19/2006 07:44 PM ID: 57057 Permalink   

Junk Food Junkie Lives to 112


Against all odds, according to prevailing medical theory, George Johnson had outlived all US WWI veterans on a diet of sausage and waffles. His doctor, Stephen Coles, claims Mr. Johnson, “had terrible bad habits.”

At 5’7” and 140 lbs, Mr. Johnson succumbed to pneumonia. An autopsy revealed all of the deceased organs were in perfect condition with the exception of his lungs due to his illness.

“All of his organs were extremely youthful. They could have been the organs of someone who was 50 or 60, not 112”, said Dr. Coles. Genetics are thought to be reasoning behind his exceptional health and longevity.

    WebReporter: Valkyrie123 Show Calling Card      
ASSESS this news: BLOCK this news. Reason:
Some people can tolerate junk food, while others can smoke cigarettes or drink gin their whole lives with no adverse effects. For the majority, though, its probably ill-advised. For every survivor there are thousands who don't make it.
  by: Flashby     09/19/2006 07:49 PM     
... hmm, in a eugenics kind of nazi-ist way, if we all smoked and all ate junk food, eventually, after a few hundred million human casualties and after a dozen or two generations of humans abusing their bodies in this sort of moderally 'specific' way, we'd have a genepool that would be much more tolerant to junk food and smokes than the current population.

This sounds kinda stupid doesn't it?
...well this post is one of the things that should have a 'don't try this at home' label.

P.S. both my grandfathers lived long lives, one of them was old enough for us (and him) to not know exactly how old he was! we think he was over 100, he was forcibly relocated at an early age, and after so many wars he lived through, it was impossible to figure out when he was born. So, if I was smart enough to quit smoking, I *might* reach 100. But I'd have to wise up and actually quit smoking first. Bummer!
  by: deadmeat     09/19/2006 09:20 PM     
  I SMOKE 2 - 3 PACKS A DAY .. .. ..  
oH MY GOSH!!! ha ha ha sorry but I like to smoke.. I survived my 5th heart attack in July 30 of 2001 since then I have had three strokes.. .. the last one was in June of 2003, I lost 85% of my eye sight. No doktors here in the small eskimo village where I live. (I am white, from Boston) been living up here for 25 years.. I got all my eyesight back by doint something totally stupid and derranged!! I prayed!! and three months later my eyesight was restored to 90% !! I had to fly 200 miles by plane to see a doktor @ the local hospital in Kotzebue.. they told me my eyes would never recover.. I told them your full of S**t!! I am a single parent that has successfully raised four boys by myself. My four sons (Now young men) have never been sick a day in their lives!! I still smoke. and I smoke pot on a daily basis since April 22nd of 1970 @ 5:30 p.m. just after the rain stopped ha ha ha.. lmao !!!

When I had my fifth heart attack.. the dokotrs in Anchorage told me.. we wanted to do a bypass on you.. but there is nothing to bypass to.. the whole front of your heart is DEAD ! you have 30% of it left.. but BECAUSE your heart is just so incredibly strong. it is like 65 - 70 percent in a normal person.. He continued.. the ONLY REASON YOUR ALIVE... IS BECAUSE when you were young.. you MUST HAVE BEEN one incredible hard core long distance runner. I asked. you can tell that.??? he said we sure can!!

THERE IS ONLY ONE REASON I am alive.. and that is because I have something to do.. that God wants me to do.. and that is to PREACH THE GOSPEL to these "savages" in this eskimo village.

GIRLS get pregnant at 12 years old up here and just give the babies away. no one scolds them. EVERY WOMAN in this village gets rapped !!! at a very very early age!!! My eating habits are discusting.. cookies, chips, candy and Pop (coca-cola) that is our water up here!!
  by: majikimaje     09/19/2006 11:01 PM     
"savages"? boy, you're really filled with the spirit of the lord aren't you?
  by: ManilaRyce     09/19/2006 11:17 PM     
  What do you call ??  
People who refuse to tell the truth about anything. people that steal all day long. rape little children.. what do you call a 50 year old man who rapes a 6 year old child. Jonah did not like the people of Ninevah, but he was told to go preach the word to them. and he was pissed when they all repented. I love this place, and I love these people but. truth is. what do you call them?? I believe in telling the truth no matter what it is.

It is not the people that are "well" that need a doctor. it is the SICK people that need help!!! YES THESE PEOPLE NEED HELP.. half the youth in this village are in jails across the state and country. EVERYTHING is done backwards here.. children rule the house and the parents MUST OBEY!! I have laid down my life out of love for these people.. but .. it still doesn't change what the truth is.. sick is sick; is sick; is sick!!!

ALTHOUGH I feel I have been called to teach these people, it is a difficult task. but i must always tell the truth, I have read the entire bible ove the c.b. radio in town FOUR TIMES then I started to teach. It had an incredibly profound effect on the entire village, and in surrounding villages above the arctic circle.

I find it amazing that with all I wrote.. you focus on one negative word, and just dismiss the filth and sin and corruption. They are not wrong in what they do.. It is all my fault for calling a rapist a rapist ?? Here in the village a grown man just got sentenced for the THIRD TIME for raping a young girl of 14.. third conviction!! he got four years!!!
  by: majikimaje     09/20/2006 12:31 AM     
  BYTHE WAY .. .. .. ..  
EYE am just an "electrician" I.B.E.W. from Boston.. ..a Great place.. .. to leave.....!!! I am 60 years YOUNG!!

what would you have me call a three time rapist ? an alter boy ? No!! he is sick and he needs HELP !!!
  by: majikimaje     09/20/2006 12:37 AM     
  Likely not the only reason  
I believe that mindset might have just about as much if not more to do with it as genetics.

How are you going to help a person by calling them sick? What about instead calling them a good person that made a mistake?
  by: banshee9898     09/20/2006 02:05 AM     
may i ask what the economic condition of these "savages" is? you have various contradictions of love and hate in your comments. please reply in a non-schizophrenic manner this time.
  by: ManilaRyce     09/20/2006 02:21 AM     
  @magicimage: what religion were you preaching  
What religion were you preaching magicimage, 'cos it doesn't sound like it's christianity. Being abnormally strong whilst abusing your body, and being able to argue using a text you probably know inside out doesn't qualify you to preach that religion.
Last I heard, 'Pride' was not on the roster of commandments, (strike 1). You seem to hate and not 'Love' your 'savages', (strike 2).

Focusing on the evils of Man (the rapist), you have shown more retribution and wrath of (some) god, than spreading Gospel(remember what that means? I'm sure you do, but I don't think you preach it).

<flippant remark>You're christian, forgive him.</flippant remark>

Actually, I think the religion you teach sounds a little more satanic than holy, prove me wrong.

(strike 3 is waiting)
  by: redstain   09/20/2006 02:38 AM     
Two words Caps Lock
  by: stonedwookie   09/20/2006 04:33 AM     
  Two more..  
Spell Check.
  by: StarShadow     09/20/2006 06:15 AM     
  Hold up  
Let's try not to lower ourselves to pointing out grammatical and spelling errors, I think we've all been guilty of this at one point or another :P.
  by: banshee9898     09/20/2006 07:44 AM     
Dude, seriously, i think those heart attacks and strokes messed your head up, you sound flippin nuts on here. I understand your excited and all, but dude, take a chill pill. And stop preaching to the people on this news forum, if your going to comment, leave comment about the news, or on someone else's post. YOUR ****** ANNOYING!
  by: ih4xjoo   09/20/2006 07:51 AM     
someone isn't playing with a full deck of cards and is a few beers short of a six pack.
  by: omani   09/20/2006 08:47 AM     
  I suspect  
that MajikImaje is not for real, and he is just playing games with everyone
  by: jjasperx   09/20/2006 03:02 PM     
I think you have spent too much time in the outback. Cabin fever, it happens. 25 years in the Alaska outback will do it to you. Majikimaje, my advice to you, get out more, maybe even consider moving to the city for a bit. Between the isolation and the strokes you are slipping off the deep end my friend. Try less Bible, less ciggs and more pot, that might help. I live in the outback of Northern Minnesota on an Indian Rez and I do know what you are up against. It is crazy! I agree the natives are savages, sorry folks, come on up and see for yourselves, don’t forget your Kevlar. 1 out of 100 locals met their maker due to murder in my home town last year. Take a break and chill dude, you have earned it.

I do have some questions.
1. Is the drug or alcohol problem bigger and which is causing the most problems?
2. Is fetal alcohol syndrome a major problem there?
3. Have the gangs arrived up there yet and established drug territories?
  by: Valkyrie123     09/20/2006 07:34 PM     
I see how you want to try and help people but most people will not take advice from someone so hypocritical. You call others sick for their actions and how they hurt others, yet you are too blind (no pun intended) to change your own ways of killing yourself. Before one can help others, he must learn to help himself. I doubt Jesus would have had such a big impact on people's lives if he was living as destructive as you.
  by: confed   09/21/2006 07:23 PM     
I think you have a full six pack but you're missing that little plastic thingy it takes to hold it all together...

Please tell me you have loved ones that are looking after you. You might have sharp objects in your home and I'm a little concerned for your safety.
  by: thegreatgonzo     09/21/2006 10:20 PM     
  @ jjasperx  
Eye am very real. and I don't exagerate!

What's in your wallet ?

Can you hear me now ?
  by: majikimaje     09/25/2006 07:16 PM     
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